Why I’m Boycotting Marriage

If five days ago you told me I would consider Sarah Silverman a role model, even in just one aspect, I would have laughed milk through my nose.  And I don’t even drink milk.

Update June 26, 2015: Hey. sK here. So. Still not married, but it looks like this boycott is officially done. Now I guess my only reasons for not being married are the same as for all my queer friends and our parents can be equally disappointed in all of us.

But that was all before someone shared this Silverman quote with me:

Not only would I not get married until everyone can, I kind of am starting to get appalled by anybody who would get married in this day and age. Anyone who considers themselves for equal rights, to get married right now seems very odd to me.

I mean, it’s like, if you say, if you joined a club, a country club, you know, in the 60s, where no blacks or Jews were allowed. Why would you want to join that country club? It’s already bizarre. There’s nothing wrong with just a nice commitment, maybe a nice civil ceremony.

But yeah, no, I find marriage has a very ugly mark on it right now, and I would not want to be a part of it.

The quote may not be anything new to you, but it perfectly describes my issues with marriage as it stands now. I am currently in a serious relationship, and I like the idea of making a lifelong commitment, but I don’t like the idea of drinking from a fountain that says “straights only.”

Marriage shouldn’t be an exclusive institution.  But as long as it is, I can’t in good conscience support it.

Here’s my pledge as an ally: I’m not getting married until same-sex couples can receive the same privilege.  I encourage all other allies to make the same commitment.

(Thanks for sharing the quote, Ryan!  You’re awesome.)


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Hi! I'm Sam Killermann. I'm the author of A Guide to Gender: The Social Justice Advocate's Handbook, and I was featured in Katie Couric's NatGeo documentary "Gender Revolution". I created It's Pronounced Metrosexual in 2011. I write everything here and doodle the doodles myself. Bonus: everything I create is uncopyrighted and freely accessible — I even coded (& open-sourced) this site itself, my gift to you. Read More →

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